Hey you. Yes you. Turn the other voices down so you can at least hear mine. I’m here to help you find some grace and defend your serotonin lacking beautiful brain today. I’m on your side I promise.
Your pacing is killing me though. Just sit down. Yes, I know this means one of the kids is going to notice you and probably want something from you, they’re kids what do u expect? Yes, I understand you feel broken today but your shattered pieces won’t cut them. They will actually help heal you if you can bring yourself to just hold them.
It hurts. I know. The depletion of your self worth is temporary though. Your baby girl feels the pain radiating from your heart and somehow is able to acknowledge your need for space. Don’t deny her simple, deserving moments of your attention today.
No! Do not eat another cookie. These are no doubt your most amazing peanut butter/chocolate combination of love; however, you’ve already put on 10lbs in the past few months. If you don’t start using a bit more self control, what you stuff inside in hiding will start to show in plain view. Your uniform of jeggings and baggy sweaters can only conceal so much.
Quit tearing yourself down. You set the bar too high for yourself on a good day. Today your just flirting with self sabotage. Break out some crayons. It won’t kill the little guy if he eats a few more and his sassy sister will be entertained in her own precious, pink and purple world of hello kitty. Coloring makes for good conversation…even with these two crazy beings that combined have only graced this earth for 5 little years.
Cut your self some slack. Commit to yourself that whether it is genuine joy you’re feeling or unexpected sadness, you will be authentic about the moment. Shame is no longer holding your nerves hostage. You shed that skin for the last time. The Celexa is helping you to balance the end of that life…don’t fight it.
You’re getting there. Just breathe. Teach your daughter to breathe when frustration gets the best of her. It will save her a lot of grief if she learns how not to implode over life’s minor screw ups early in life. You’re doing the best you can and it’s better than expected…you know that.
It’s ok to cry. Give in to the Disney channel, turn on the hottest shower you can stand and go have an ugly cry. Detox your soul. It will uplift you.
Now, quiet the noise and relax your skin. Take the panic out of the moments and inhale the reality around you. It’s ok. You’re ok.
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