Momma has lost her mind.

If Everyday Moms Worked the Red Carpet…

Me and my mob of Moms would put a hurtin’ on the red carpet.  We would sash with baby on hip.  We would flip our hair and then throw it in to a bun ninja style.  We would work it.  We would own it.

Let me give you the run down on what people would be admiring as the show stealing wardrobe that I would be rockin’.

Hoodie circa 2003 = hotness.  Or is that hot mess?
Hoodie circa 2003 = hotness. Or is that hot mess?

Today (and pretty much everyday), I am wearing a rain cloud gray hoodie adorned with my college Alma Mater.  It’s a favorite because it reminds me of a day when I walked free among other humans who discussed things not related to poop and/or nap time rituals.

My leggings were designed by a quite famous designer.  Perhaps you have heard of him.  He goes by the name Old Navy.  He brilliantly uses the cheapest material possible so as to not cause one more thing for Momma to cry about when grape juice is dumped upon it.  The small tear you may or may not see hiding underneath my right butt cheek makes me feel “edgy” and “hip”.

Do you see my foot attire?  Oh yes…it’s furry and fabulous.  The pink striped socks are nothing less than provocative as they enhance the brown, Tar-jey slippers.

I chose this particular outfit for the occasion because it had a fresher smell than any alternative.  It also brings out the shade of gray underneath my eyes.  I enjoy the way the fabric on my leggings hug my ass and helps shift things where they are suppose to be.  The hoodie is especially flattering in that it hides my Nat Geo boobs and cesarean split level “abs”.

My hair was done by someone so famous (in my small town) that she has chosen to go by the pseudo name, Sassy Four Year Old.  She doesn’t want word to get out that she does pro bono work for her mother, as she is worried it may wreck her Pre K reputation.

I, and Sassy Four Year Old, are available to help you dress to impress for all occasions.  We can be reached at or by simply calling 1-888-yogapantsforall.

Don’t stop here!  Own your authentic Momma wear and share.  If you blog you can link up to this fun filled blog hop here.  If not, take a pic and tweet it #WhoAreYouWearingMom. 

33 thoughts on “If Everyday Moms Worked the Red Carpet…”

  1. 😀 AWESOMENESS! Complete and total. I’ve heard of Old Navy. I have some of his vintage. I can’t believe we can afford him. Also I love the description of us taking the red carpet on. Thank you so much for linking up, Dawn, this was so much fun!

    1. Thank YOU!! I have had so much fun doing this and very much appreciate your invitation to link up. I’m so glad people got a laugh out of this. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect.

      Old Navy “vintage”…I’m all over that. And I save all year so I can stock up on $5 tanks and velour.

  2. LOVE.THIS. I too choose my clothing by the pungency. If it’s the least smelly in the pile, it works. I also have a sassy kid who likes to do my hair, but she’s five… You are no less than brilliant in this post-you seem like someone I could call a friend! 😉

    1. Wow! What a way to start off my me time!!!…a.k.a. nap time for the kids. I can’t wait to head over and read everyone else’s posts. This has been a blast for me. Anytime I get to promote real life vs. what is put out there in the media, and do it with humor, I’m in! I’m glad I made a friend with this one =)

  3. If it’s a work day, it’s Kohl’s. Day off=Old Navy. It’s that exciting in the NAPR fashion world. 🙂

    1. Exciting in my world is staying in my sweats and then enveloping myself in my fleece robe. I just know my kids friends are going to think I’m the hot Mom {I’m swimming in sarcasm with that line}. Thanks for reading and commenting. It’s truly appreciated (=

    1. I’m so excited to be a part of this! I have thoroughly enjoyed promoting our kind of red carpet. Laughter always makes for the best conversation starters in my opinion.

    1. Thanks! Reality does rock…especially when it’s promoting real women and not someone that has been worked on for 4 hours and looks like she needs about cheeseburger STAT!

    1. Hey I love the way you rationalize. I wonder if my husband will go for the “do less laundry to save money” bit?! Thanks for reading. I love when I can make other people smile/laugh so thanks for the feedback (=

  4. I love it! And this: “…walked free among other humans who discussed things not related to poop and/or nap time rituals.” I forgot about those days! Ha. Great way to do the link-up!

    1. I am soooo happy to join you ladies in this. I had a lot of fun. I seem to have a knack for promoting anything anti-glamour, mostly due to my addiction to comfort. My daughter will occasionally ask me, “Momma are you going to get dressed today?”. I call her the clothing Nazi.

  5. Hahaha, nat geo boobs! Lol. I remember those because I was a teenager before internet porn was so pervasive. What? Ner’mind!! Lol. I feel pretty good about myself now because I’m certain that I have some Old Navy clothing in my closet and your 4 year old sounds awesome! Mine asked me why I was so fat, so there’s that! You look great in your hoodie. All the moms look great! Carry on, I’m babbling now from caffeine!!

    1. Babble on (= And for the love of God, don’t stop ingesting caffeine…they will eat you alive if you do!

      I’m quite happy people get my Nat Geo boobs reference. It’s quite literal to the point I couldn’t stop myself from writing a whole post about them. Thanks for reading this post and the wonderful comment. My four yr old IS awesome; however, she tells me I’m rude and “I don’t like you very much anymore!” like it’s her job. So I feel your pain on hearing their obnoxious words at times.

  6. many LoL’s reading this! I think I’ve heard of that Old Navy designer….
    and nat geo boobs almost made me choke – LOL
    I’m pretty sure rips in ANY pant is a sure-fire key to the trendy and edgy world.

    1. I’m so glad you see my hole-y pants as trendy, as I do, instead of lacking class! I know it’s there but until it exposes at least two more inches of my booty, I’m sporting them…they’re my fav. I love that my boobs made you choke. Wow! That did not sound flattering for either one of us. annnny way…Thanks so much for reading. Wasn’t this fun!!!

  7. We would rock it, wouldn’t we. Mom power! That’s what this link-up is about. I love what your alma mater means to you now. I don’t think I could’ve ever imagined, when I was back there. It seems to far away now! Not in a bad way either, just different!

    1. It’s frightening to me that I have been wearing that hoodie for NINE years now!!! All well…it serves a very functional and comfortable purpose now. And the added jello and encrusted oatmeal stains just add character. I was so happy to join this link up!! I adored your post by the way. I mean like I fell in love with those sweet pictures. I tried to comment but had a little trouble. I’m replying in between child demands at this point but I will try to make it back around again (=

  8. Ha ha! It’s a fine line between “hot mess” and “hotness” isn’t it? You are so right- the cheaper our clothes are, the less sad we are when they get ruined by our kids! 🙂 Thanks for joining us!

    1. I was very happy to join (= …and yeah if I refuse to pay more than a pitiful sale price for my clothes at this point. The kids took my sanity, I won’t let them take my fashion too. Although, that would imply I know how to dress myself these days, which, clearly I don’t.

  9. LOL! If only. I happen to be wearing a patagonia (patagucci) fleece pre-child days only because I bought it at the outlet and they only had XL. It used to be a tent, then I filled it in.
    OH well. And those tears. Man, those edgy tears….if only they were, and I could bring myself to leave the house with holes in my crotch. Because Lord knows, the more I love em the more holes they have!
    This post is awesome, kisses to the hair maestro!

    1. I’ll give her an extra big smooch from her fans =) Thanks for reading! I love that I’m not the only one that shares so much joy in a good deal and worn in attire.

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