10. “Knock Knock.”
Oh please, God NO! Their attempts at learning humor can be painful.
9. “Momma, how did I get out of your belly?”
I had a C-section, so I let my scar explain this one. Don’t judge my avoidance at the “real” answer please. My four year old always has follow up questions, and I’m not prepared to tell her how babies get in our tummies yet.
8. “You had a job?”
Yes, child. Your Mother utilized her college degree before you forced her brain to rationalize ketchup as an acceptable vegetable. Thanks for the extra flavor of surprise in your voice when asking that.
7. “I don’t want you to be my Mommy anymore!”
Ha! …ok not gonna lie, this one stung a bit. However, I felt it necessary to tell her to “Get over it!” anyway.
6. “No, I’m not lying”.
All of a sudden, my little girl lies like it’s her job. She won’t back down, even when the green marker on her hand matches the green hearts on the wall.
5. “Mom, come look!”
Why. Why do I have to see every color she uses on the picture, every attempt at a front flip and come listen every freakin’ time she tries to whistle! I still can’t really whistle. Hang it up girl, it’s not going to happen for you.
4. “Mom, I need you!”
I will never object to helping my daughter or doing something she needs me to do. Having said that, her frequent idea of “need you” is just another one of her lies. Her needs are confused with believing I am a maid, personal chef or another four year old.
3. “I just want to be a princess when I grow up!”.
I’m convinced four year old girls are addicted to pretty things. I went above and beyond to prevent this from happening but somehow my daughter still glorifies princesses. Ugh. For the love of God, could Disney just please put one of their female characters in freakin’ pants.
2. “Can we listen to my music?”
I have come to despise nursery rhymes. Kids are repetitive by nature, add a catchy sound and I’d rather hang out in a snow bank.
1. “But_____.”
Fill in the blank. Four year olds are all aspiring to be sadistic little lawyers. They think everything in their lives is up for debate. They force us to say things we swore we would never say like, “because I said so”. But nothing, child. Please, for the love of all that is sacred to your Momma, just. don’t. argue. with. me.
Anyone else notice a drastic change in their child’s fourth year of life? Mine has started to look so much further than what is on the surface but at the same time, can’t stop laughing at words like poop and butt and poopy butt. Her questions are more difficult to answer and her battles are harder to fight (and win).
Am I the only one that feels that a four yr old is equipped with enough energy and fury to put you on your knees some days? Is there a question she/he asked you that left you speechless or laughing out loud?
W.T.F. 
I read this and thought ‘really? There’s no Disney princesses in pants?’ So I did some quick research (my extensive DVD collection) and found that other than princess jasmine and her completely ridiculous pants that do kind of look like a skirt at first glance, and the females from the incredibles in their super suits (they aren’t princesses though) Disney just doesn’t have women in pants. Even Jane from the movie Tarzan wears the most impractical dress. How have I never noticed this before?
Ya know, it’s so funny you did this because as I was writing that, I wondered if anyone would call me on the accusation that they all wear dresses. I couldn’t call what jasmine is wearing as pants so I just went with it. …you just knocked it home. 🙂 Thanks for that.
Haha 🙂 I think it’s more worrying though that they stick with dresses and skirts even when it’s not practical, as I said Jane from Tarzan but also in Brave. Frozen kind of shows how Disney is slowly coming into the 21st century though. There is a line saying you can’t marry someone you just met. Hopefully women in pants will be next (and not just the ridiculous things Jasmine wears haha).
Mine asked what porn was in the middle of a grocery store checkout line. He was sounding out words on the tabloids.
OMG…That must have made for an awkward minute. My daughter never takes a simple … “we’ll talk about it later” or “don’t worry about it”. She won’t leave things alone until she gets some kind of answer. I have no idea how I would have handled this one! 🙂
He already had one half-sibling at this point and another on the way (so closer to 5 than 4 ) He kind of had an idea of “when mommy and daddy love each other…” type thing
So I just said it is when people do what mommies and daddies do to get babies but others can see.
His response? “Gross!”
I was all excited about finding a kid book on Amelia earheart, I thought the girls would live it since it was about a woman working hard and my girls turned their nose up at it and would not let me read it to them! All because she wasn’t a pretty princess, very frustrating. Damn Disney!
I have to laugh a little because my little girl would have done the same thing. Irritates me to no end.
It’s been 10 years since the twins were 4 and it’s a year from when Baby C will be 4, so I can’t remember and I don’t know. I can tell you that my current three year old drives me to the bottle occasionally…
I would have to pluralize bottle. I just put the recyclables out and said to my husband, “should I put a note on the bag that says No, I’m not an alcoholic, I just have small children?”
That might invite more judgment. It’s best to leave them guessing.
yeah..hahaha…now that I think about it.
My 4 year old daughter asked if and when she is a big girl, will she get married and have a baby too? (A friend had visited with her new baby that day) I explained yes, if she wants to and she falls in love etc.. Her twin brother looked up, with a very concerned expression and said mummy when I am big will I get married and have a baby? So I explained how he might meet a nice girl, fall in love, get married and the girl will have a baby..
His eyes widened and he blurted out
‘I want to stay small!! Don’t make me any more dinners!!’. Lol!!
That just made my day…no more dinners for the little guy. so funny!!!
Friday night while getting into bed, my almost-four-year old granddaughter was harassing her big sister terribly…just to be a pest. I popped her lightly on her Pull-up clad bottom and told her to get into bed. “Grammy, that was NOT necessary!” was Miss Thing’s response. “Oh, yes it was,” answered. Ah, the joys of children! – Fawn
My four yr old has taken a liking to telling me I’m rude when I get on to her. Oh the back talk on that girl now is unreal!
no you are not alone!!! thats what four- year olds do best … make our lives magical yet at the same time so incredibly crazy that every other night a raving maniac goes to bed as opposed to a calm patient mommy
Couldn’t have described the experience any more perfectly than you just did! 🙂
And yet, she’s still the apple of your eye… 😉
Awwww…someone actually picked up on that. That picture was definitely on purpose 🙂
On the bright side, you can catalog the stories on your blog to embarrass the hell out of her when she’s older.
Win!
That’s the plan. 🙂
I am sorry, but poopy butt is still hilarious. Get over it. 🙂
Of course it is. 🙂 I’m guilty of (and probably always will be) laughing anytime I hear the word balls. I can’t help myself.
…and if you could explain why trumpety fart noises are still funny to a grown adult (me) I would be grateful.
Yeah… We’re “that” family too. 🙂
I hate to tell you this, but “four” returns later as “fourteen”, but they are bigger! – Fawn
Funny you say that because I say that I have a four (almost five!) Year old going on 16. The attitude, facial expressions and emotional roller coaster rides are just too much some days.