My Dammit List

I’ve been keeping my eyes open for little slices of empowerment lately. I’ve been a bit stagnant and in need of … well I don’t really know. I came across a post called, My Dammit List, written by Natalie, on her blog, The Cat Lady Sings. It just felt good reading it.

self preservation

It made me understand that a little of what I have been lacking lately, is unapologetic self-appreciation. I have to be the one to light that flame and keep it burning. I can’t do that if I am holding on to what-ifs and it’s-not-worth-its and buts...

Natalie’s explanation of and reason for creating a dammit list, was said so perfectly, I won’t even try to describe it any other way.

“So I need a Shit I Stand For list, a Book of Me that I can refer to when I feel my edges wearing away. When I feel like I’m losing myself. Because sometimes I feel like the cord tethering me to Earth is slipping, and that I might disappear, or become a ghost. No one wants to be an amorphous blob.”

“So I need to know where I stand, so that I can stand. This is my Dammit List. Imagine adding “dammit” to the end of every bulleted item, for emphasis. I reserve the right to update this as necessary.”

rb

I give you my Dammit List:

  • I will be a priority in my life. I have to take off ALL the hats I wear in order to do this. That means someone else will have to take the lead for me. I won’t feel guilty about that anymore.
  • I will stop comparing myself to other Moms/women. We all have baggage and wear our shields to cover it, differently. Life looks different on all of us, on purpose. I’m going to try to start to call myself on it, the next time I have a thought, that any one person is more worthy than I am, just because they look like they have their shit more together.
  • I will be proud, and not embarrassed, when someone compliments my writing. I have a talent and I am proud of that. Accepting a compliment proudly, doesn’t make me boastful. Discussing something I have written, does not mean I’m fishing for approval. If I wrote it, it’s something I genuinely want to talk about. If it makes you uncomfortable, that’s not my intent or my issue.
  • I have a right to disagree with someone, and just as much of a right to tell them why. Shaking my head in agreement or saying nothing at all, instead of speaking up, shaves off little slivers of my soul. Not going to do that anymore.
  • I have a right to ask someone not to behave or say certain things around myself and my children. I’ve always had a hard time speaking up. It stems from never being allowed to as a kid. I’m not a kid anymore and if things are being said that encourage negativity, a bullying mentality or in an intimidating manner, than I will ask you to pipe the eff down.
  • I will do things that are unexpected of me. I’m not the same person I was yesterday or the day before that. If I decide to make changes in my life or lifestyle, no ones opinion of that will stop me from doing so.
  • I will not have toxic people in my life anymore.
  • I will let fear motivate me, instead of hinder me. I will pay more attention to what I am resistant to and move in that direction. If anything, life has taught me it’s that direction, that leads to answers and joy.

Dammit, that felt good. Putting oneself first, without allowing fear of judgment or other people’s issues to get in the way, is not an easy thing to do. I struggle with it daily. The only real way to combat that, is to just do it. It’s quite humbling and empowering.

vagina balls

So get to it! Make your own list. Print it out and hang it next to your mirror. That way before you can continue the habit of looking for what’s wrong with yourself, you can start paying more attention to what’s right.

Thanks Natalie!

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29 thoughts on “My Dammit List

  1. Love this! I will have to make a list of my own once I have time. Right now I have a cranky 1.5 year old who has four teeth coming in and will not eat, sleep or do anything else, so I guess if I were writing it right now number 1 would be that I will drink a glass and or bottle of wine tonight and not feel guilty for drinking it Damn it 🙂

    • It’s funny, drinking my wine is something I feel no guilt about. 🙂 You have to make your own list. And please share! My 19 mth old is so whiny lately and has a serious hitting problem. Not at all sure what to do about it if I’m being honest. I have friends who had hitters too and they keep telling me he will grow out of it. Thanks for checking out my list…now go start your own!

      • The list is done and published! let me know what you think! Oh and my son is now having a fifth tooth come in with the others, uggh. He apparently decided getting five teeth at the same time is a good idea. one tired mommy 😦 I thin your son will grow out of the hitting, he’s only one and half. I don’t think he understands what it means yet. But I really wouldn’t know what to do about it either. so if you find the answer please share with me, because our son’s are close in age so I am sure that the hitting will come my way soon, especially with the hellions he goes to daycare with. lol

      • Headed over to check it out now! Hang in there with the teething. Both my kids got all their teeth back to back, very young. I’m shocked I survived it!

  2. Agh, I love this, Dawn! And you came up with it so fast – I applaud you! I especially like the last item on the list. I may add that to mine.

    I’m so glad you decided to do this. It does feel good, doesn’t it? 🙂

    • It felt pretty fantastic. I would say I got my list down on “paper” quickly, but it is something that has been building for a long time. I was just telling Rida, who also commented on this post, I re-read my very first post from last October and it was almost funny how much my Dammit List fit what I was asking to find. …myself. I look forward to adding to it as I go. Thanks again for the idea 🙂

  3. being authentic self-centered me, i was hoping i would be the one to give you that Oprah ‘A-ha’ moment. but that you got it from another is just as good:) i still struggle with wanting lots of Followers and writing what i want to write. so my dammit list would be to stop looking for outside approval and be completely bat-shit in love with everything i post, for all of my posts are a secret window into my soul. great post! as always, a bad-ass writer:) props!

    • I fell in love with you because of your authentic comments to what I was writing and then found even more of that authenticity in your own writings. If you write it, they will come! lol…so very cheesy of me on the Monday morning. I think I always knew that paying more attention was important to my own happiness and self worth but it really wasn’t until recently that it hit me head on. It’s funny because I re-read my very first post and it is begging for this dammit list…I just didn’t know it at the time.

      Have you ever checked out yeah write. I stumbled upon them after looking for fictional writing prompts and advice. You should check it out and submit something when your ready. I have submitted two fictional pieces so far and have not placed with either one. It’s pissing me off and encouraging me to get better :). They have a non-fictional writing challenge too. I know you’re so busy but I think you’ll like it. Or tipsy lit…both are great.

  4. thank you times infinity:) it’s crunch time at school. something important due every freaking week now. i will def check out those sites. virtual love coming your way:)
    **she thinks to herself and grumbles, “she couldn’t hyperlink them? really how hard is it to hyperlink?”** LOL!

  5. Pingback: 6 months, 100 posts, 5 lessons learned. | W.T.F.

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