Writing is an emotional digestion for me. It’s the way I unlock and tap into, how I’m absorbing the world around me. It both comforts and transforms me. Those rare moments, when I strike the keys before I even have a conscious thought — I call that a soulgasm. Streaming my thoughts in visible words, whether it be about the trials and tribulations of being Momma or the essence of being Dawn, is cathartic. It pushes me into a new realm of self awareness, for better or worse, by an inch or by a mile.
I’ve always been like this. When I was younger, I poured my heart out in to poetry that, as I read now, sketches images of a child in need of love. It clearly reflects the environment I was in, but in a way only broken words from a broken child could say. I say that of course, with sadness but more to emphasis the impact writing has always had in my life. Those journals were my anti-depressant. I survived a very turmulous childhood but I was given the gift of putting my pain on paper, and that helped move me through it.
It took me a long time to finally realize that screaming out loud, doesn’t work for me. I don’t have a timid mind, but a fragile soul. I can’t be angry and get a point across. I struggle with explaining in the moment how I’m feeling. I’m terrible at arguing with my husband for that reason. Before I can authentically react to something, I have to process it. That’s what writing does for me. It helps me process my life. If I don’t use this filter, I easily become overwhelmed. It’s like anything else though, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. Regardless, I’ve grown.
What am I working on?
Right now, I’m working on the third and final piece, to a three-part story I wrote and published before I left for vacation. It’s about two women who, by chance or perhaps by the unknown, find each other, for the sake of finding themselves. One woman is struggling to move through the death of her abusive husband, for which she only knows the cause of; while the other is learning how to see the gray with her heart, not just the black and white in her mind. I would love to hear what you think about the story so far.
How does my work differ from others in its genre?
This is a trick question for me. I don’t feel like my writings fit in to any one genre. Perhaps my flavor or edges are different, but it’s all about life – that of a thirty something, Mother of two, wife, woman and child. Sometimes I’m funny, sometimes I’m reflective, sometimes I’m cranky, sometimes I’m in the midst of depression and sometimes I’m having the time of my life. It’s all in there.
Why do I write/create what I do?
If I were asked this when I first start writing this blog, I would have said to help me shed some serious baggage. I needed an outlet at that time desperately. I didn’t have a great idea of what blogging was all about other than it involved people who enjoyed writing. I just wanted in.
I still use writing to process this crazy ride but it’s more about recording my time, my experiences, my life. My perspective on life. I know someday my children, I think especially my daughter, will read this little blog and feel like she has gotten to know me better. I missed that opportunity with my Mom. That alone drives me.
What I create, has evolved as well. I never set out to write fiction, but now I do. And I love it. I always dreamed of writing a book, even as a child, but I always assumed it would be an autobiography. Not sure why, but I did. I’ve tapped in to creating my own characters and stories now and I am encouraged to keep doing it. My inspirations always seem to have a touch of home to them, but my imagination has definitely left the ground.
I suppose I write/create because I have to. I used to think of writing as a love affair. Now, I see and use it as both my strongest tool and most effective weapon, usually against/for myself.
How does my writing/creating process work?
I try to always write with intention. I don’t write much about random things — I have to be triggered. Again, for better or worse. Whether it be something that made me laugh, usually built on irony or something that pulled at my heart strings. Having said that, we all know day to day can be monotonous. I had to give up on forcing my self to stare at a blank screen until something popped in to my head. I think that was my addicted brain leading me. Now I am able to sit back and let it happen more naturally.
Timing is number one on my list. If I’m not in the right space – not enough sleep, rough day with the kids, etc – I can’t write. I need quiet to write. No tv. No radio. No kids. And that is tough. I write mostly within the hour the little guy naps and the sassy one is occupied with tv time (yes, I let her watch tv for a whole hour and it’s awesome) and/or at night.
My “creative process” only works when it wants to, which is quite true to my own personality.
I was asked by Katia, who writes at IAMTHEMILK (as if you didn’t already know that), if I wanted to explore and write about my own creative process, as part of a blogging tour. It’s something I never really thought about before and was anxious to dive in to my own unknown patterns and creative style. Katia’s piece for this tour was stunning. Indulge in the 10 minutes it will take to read her piece, On Trees and Writing. It will have a lasting, positive affect on your day.
As part of this blogging tour, it was requested that I tag three other bloggers. I chose to focus on my favorite bloggers within the Yeah Write community. If you aren’t familiar with Yeah Write, check them out. My writing and imagination has jumped leaps and bounds, since joining this inspiring writing community.
Christine at Trudging Through Fog