Momma has lost her mind.

If Everyday Moms Worked the Red Carpet…

Me and my mob of Moms would put a hurtin’ on the red carpet.  We would sash with baby on hip.  We would flip our hair and then throw it in to a bun ninja style.  We would work it.  We would own it.

Let me give you the run down on what people would be admiring as the show stealing wardrobe that I would be rockin’.

Hoodie circa 2003 = hotness.  Or is that hot mess?
Hoodie circa 2003 = hotness. Or is that hot mess?

Today (and pretty much everyday), I am wearing a rain cloud gray hoodie adorned with my college Alma Mater.  It’s a favorite because it reminds me of a day when I walked free among other humans who discussed things not related to poop and/or nap time rituals.

My leggings were designed by a quite famous designer.  Perhaps you have heard of him.  He goes by the name Old Navy.  He brilliantly uses the cheapest material possible so as to not cause one more thing for Momma to cry about when grape juice is dumped upon it.  The small tear you may or may not see hiding underneath my right butt cheek makes me feel “edgy” and “hip”.

Do you see my foot attire?  Oh yes…it’s furry and fabulous.  The pink striped socks are nothing less than provocative as they enhance the brown, Tar-jey slippers.

I chose this particular outfit for the occasion because it had a fresher smell than any alternative.  It also brings out the shade of gray underneath my eyes.  I enjoy the way the fabric on my leggings hug my ass and helps shift things where they are suppose to be.  The hoodie is especially flattering in that it hides my Nat Geo boobs and cesarean split level “abs”.

My hair was done by someone so famous (in my small town) that she has chosen to go by the pseudo name, Sassy Four Year Old.  She doesn’t want word to get out that she does pro bono work for her mother, as she is worried it may wreck her Pre K reputation.

I, and Sassy Four Year Old, are available to help you dress to impress for all occasions.  We can be reached at or by simply calling 1-888-yogapantsforall.

Don’t stop here!  Own your authentic Momma wear and share.  If you blog you can link up to this fun filled blog hop here.  If not, take a pic and tweet it #WhoAreYouWearingMom.