I’ve been keeping my eyes open for little slices of empowerment lately. I’ve been a bit stagnant and in need of … well I don’t really know. I came across a post called, My Dammit List, written by Natalie, on her blog, The Cat Lady Sings. It just felt good reading it.
It made me understand that a little of what I have been lacking lately, is unapologetic self-appreciation. I have to be the one to light that flame and keep it burning. I can’t do that if I am holding on to what-ifs and it’s-not-worth-its and buts...
Natalie’s explanation of and reason for creating a dammit list, was said so perfectly, I won’t even try to describe it any other way.
“So I need a Shit I Stand For list, a Book of Me that I can refer to when I feel my edges wearing away. When I feel like I’m losing myself. Because sometimes I feel like the cord tethering me to Earth is slipping, and that I might disappear, or become a ghost. No one wants to be an amorphous blob.”
“So I need to know where I stand, so that I can stand. This is my Dammit List. Imagine adding “dammit” to the end of every bulleted item, for emphasis. I reserve the right to update this as necessary.”
I give you my Dammit List:
- I will be a priority in my life. I have to take off ALL the hats I wear in order to do this. That means someone else will have to take the lead for me. I won’t feel guilty about that anymore.
- I will stop comparing myself to other Moms/women. We all have baggage and wear our shields to cover it, differently. Life looks different on all of us, on purpose. I’m going to try to start to call myself on it, the next time I have a thought, that any one person is more worthy than I am, just because they look like they have their shit more together.
- I will be proud, and not embarrassed, when someone compliments my writing. I have a talent and I am proud of that. Accepting a compliment proudly, doesn’t make me boastful. Discussing something I have written, does not mean I’m fishing for approval. If I wrote it, it’s something I genuinely want to talk about. If it makes you uncomfortable, that’s not my intent or my issue.
- I have a right to disagree with someone, and just as much of a right to tell them why. Shaking my head in agreement or saying nothing at all, instead of speaking up, shaves off little slivers of my soul. Not going to do that anymore.
- I have a right to ask someone not to behave or say certain things around myself and my children. I’ve always had a hard time speaking up. It stems from never being allowed to as a kid. I’m not a kid anymore and if things are being said that encourage negativity, a bullying mentality or in an intimidating manner, than I will ask you to pipe the eff down.
- I will do things that are unexpected of me. I’m not the same person I was yesterday or the day before that. If I decide to make changes in my life or lifestyle, no ones opinion of that will stop me from doing so.
- I will not have toxic people in my life anymore.
- I will let fear motivate me, instead of hinder me. I will pay more attention to what I am resistant to and move in that direction. If anything, life has taught me it’s that direction, that leads to answers and joy.
Dammit, that felt good. Putting oneself first, without allowing fear of judgment or other people’s issues to get in the way, is not an easy thing to do. I struggle with it daily. The only real way to combat that, is to just do it. It’s quite humbling and empowering.
So get to it! Make your own list. Print it out and hang it next to your mirror. That way before you can continue the habit of looking for what’s wrong with yourself, you can start paying more attention to what’s right.