Lately, I’ve been getting the urge to watch marathons of 90210 and chain smoke candy cigarettes. Case in point, I now say things that date me terribly.
I need to come to terms with the random gray hairs screaming through the dirty blondness. I made reference to a VCR the other day and my daughter was befuddled. It doesn’t take much to overload a four yr old’s brain; however, it got me thinking. I’m only 32 but already can name things that my kids, even people 10 yrs younger, have never seen, heard of or make fun of when people still reference them. Like the beeper I had in high school.
Myspace. The fact alone that my entrance in to the virtual world of “friends” began on Myspace is enough to tell you I prefer coffee dates over rum induced twerking at midnight. I now believe going out in 10 degree weather without a coat on because it doesn’t go with my outfit is just asinine. I no longer wait until my toes have slight freezer burn before I put my flip flops away.
It took me a good two yrs to convince myself to put a pair of skinny jeans on. I’m a product of stirrup leggings and scars around my ankles from the tight rolled jeans cutting in to my youthful skin. I needed time to heal and about two more years to accept that boots worn over skinny jeans was acceptable. At this point, I’m a “so three seasons ago” fashion criminal.
It’s only going to get worse, I know. I have two small children, one of which has already been tainted with the instant gratification disease of her generation (did you see how I just referenced a “younger” generation…I’m out of control). She will holler for my immediate assistance, as if her clothes spontaneously just caught fire, if she cannot fast forward a commercial. On more than one occasion, I have broken out the “You know, when I was growing up, we didn’t get to choose whether or not we watched commercials!”. When I said that, she was dumbfounded. And then, she hugged me like I just told her I survived the plague. It was bizarre.
My kid’s desire for me to entertain them has forced me to utter the inevitiable, “When I was your age, I used my imagination to find something to do”. I may or may not have also said, “You’re lucky I don’t make you play outside and lock the door behind you”. Yes, I understand that in today’s amped up parental world that would be an offense worthy of hotlining, but in my day (there I go again), it was a reality. Thirst nor hunger would validate coming inside if it was a nice day outside. There was a garden hose and mud pies to hold us over.
I have succumb to listening to adult, contemporary rock stations on the radio. WTF people. I seriously cannot handle my own fuddy duddy-ness lately.
How is it even possible that I have so many “back in the day” stories already. Why am I hatin’ on the Millennials and all their 23 things to do before their metabolism slows down and gravity starts to take a hold of their youthful, perfectly toned skin and flat little bellies? And why does it have to sound so ridiculous when I say things like “cray cray” and “what-ev”? Perhaps it’s because there was also a point in my three decade old life that I said things like “NOT!” and “talk to the hand”.
I don’t know if it is because my 33rd birthday is right around the corner or I’m just having a pity party over just watching Ian Ziering in Sharknado. Why Steve…Why?
Either way, when I say things like “when I was younger” or even worse, “It’s just different nowadays”, I can’t help but feel I’m at a place where my 23-year-old-self would have gone to die (had she been forced to put on a coat, covering up her perfectly coordinated outfit and cleavage).
Yes. I am being over dramatic. Of course I realize 33 is a far cry from doilies on a plastic covered couch. However, it’s just one more reminder that life is flying by. It’s moving faster than an 80’s kid jumpin’ a skip it. It’s racing by like the Days of Thunder. Time is disappearing faster then the hair crimper. How did this happen?? I guess I’ll just Hang Tough and go watch reruns of my favorite sit-coms on Nick at Night. ….”In west Phillidelphia born and raised…” If you finished singing that, you’re my kind of people. 😉
Talk to me Goose!
What things do you say or do that date you? What tickles your nostalgia bone? Did you ever really crimp your hair??…I did…and it was kind of awesome 🙂
W.T.F. 