Momma has lost her mind.

“Do you love being home?”…Why I struggle with this question.

From time to time, I venture out on my own.  It’s usually to fetch more food for the fam at the dreaded grocery store or something of that sort.  Some call this the Mom-cation.  Sad isn’t … that swaying to Dido, sipping on a Dunkin’ coffee and gazing down the aisle of the overly packaged, processed food can be equated to “taking time for herself”.

While I’m out “on vacation”, I sometimes run in to people I knew in my past life.  The life that involved my brain synapses firing in directions other than figuring out how to burn off four year old energy or reminding myself, for the forth time, to take the chicken out of the freezer for dinner.  I genuinely like running in to people I know, as long as it isn’t on the third day I have put off showering.  The opportunity for adult conversation doesn’t come up much so when it does, even for a small talk quickie, I enjoy it.

I revel in the common, “How are the kids?”.  I’m usually prepared for the, “Are you finding time for yourself?”.  However, I dread hearing, “Do you love being home?”  The first two can be answered simply and in truth with minimal guilt and judgement.  However, “Do you love being home?” makes me want to run and find that family size bag of Doritos on sale that I am way too excited about.

Answering this question is tough.  I don’t want to come across as an awful human being by admitting that some days being home with small children makes me envious of Thelma and Louise’s last road trip. I certainly do not want to sound ungrateful when the awkward pitch of my nervous laugh scares the elderly lady behind me. I stumble at best with my response to this one every time.

I find it difficult to articulate the fine line that weaves between raising your children and enjoying them. To me that line can be straight, jagged, strong and broken all within a ten minute time span and how do you communicate that without giving a bad impression.  I was so tired of answering random questions from my four yr old today I found myself whispering “Please God make her stop” before I even figured out what was for lunch.  I pulled so many things out of my 14mth old’s mouth and hands today that at a certain point I convinced myself that as long as it was the colored pencils, and not the crayons he was in to, he was fine.

I’ve come to realize that there is no such thing as good days and bad days.  There are good moments and bad moments and each exist in EVERYDAY.  I do love being home with the little tyrants.  I would hate to miss that moment when little man walks up to his sister and just lays his head on her shoulder.  Or when my girl busts a move with me in the kitchen and tells me, “Mom, you’re an amazing dancer”. But those moments, the ones that fill your soul and the ones that frazzle your last nerve, are hard to portray in the realms of small talk.

Is there one question you get about being a SAHM or about your kids in general, that irritates you? Am I the only one that feels like driving to the grocery store alone and the two hours away from my family is a mini vaca?

6 thoughts on ““Do you love being home?”…Why I struggle with this question.”

  1. A bit of distance makes my heart grow fonder when it comes to my boys. Being with them all the time doesn’t allow me to step back and get perspective on how wonderful they are.

    I really struggle with this as I consider returning to my career. I’m glad I am home with them until they start first grade, but after that?

    1. Thanks for reading my post 🙂 I couldn’t agree with u more. Even a trip to the store by myself is a little piece of PEACE. Enough to, for a short period of time, remind me how much I love being home with them.

    1. I do too. That wasn’t a stab at her music. The proof is my habit of singing her songs out loud while strolling down the aisles. O the looks I get. Thanks for stopping by and reading my posts.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s