10 Things My Four Year Old Said, That Left Me Shaking My Head.

10.  “Knock Knock.”

Oh please, God NO!  Their attempts at learning humor can be painful.

9.  “Momma, how did I get out of your belly?”

I had a C-section, so I let my scar explain this one.  Don’t judge my avoidance at the “real” answer please.  My four year old always has follow up questions, and I’m not prepared to tell her how babies get in our tummies yet.

8.  “You had a job?” 

Yes, child.  Your Mother utilized her college degree before you forced her brain to rationalize ketchup as an acceptable vegetable.  Thanks for the extra flavor of surprise in your voice when asking that.

7.  “I don’t want you to be my Mommy anymore!” 

Ha!  …ok not gonna lie, this one stung a bit. However, I felt it necessary to tell her to “Get over it!” anyway.

6.  “No, I’m not lying”. 

All of a sudden, my little girl lies like it’s her job.  She won’t back down, even when the green marker on her hand matches the green hearts on the wall.

5.  “Mom, come look!” 

Why.  Why do I have to see every color she uses on the picture, every attempt at a front flip and come listen every freakin’ time she tries to whistle!  I still can’t really whistle.  Hang it up girl, it’s not going to happen for you.

4.  “Mom, I need you!”

I will never object to helping my daughter or doing something she needs me to do.  Having said that, her frequent idea of “need you” is just another one of her lies.  Her needs are confused with believing I am a maid, personal chef or another four year old.

Why?

3.  “I just want to be a princess when I grow up!”. 

I’m convinced four year old girls are addicted to pretty things. I went above and beyond to prevent this from happening but somehow my daughter still glorifies princesses.  Ugh.  For the love of God, could Disney just please put one of their female characters in freakin’ pants.

2.  “Can we listen to my music?” 

I have come to despise nursery rhymes.  Kids are repetitive by nature, add a catchy sound and I’d rather hang out in a snow bank.

1.  “But_____.” 

Fill in the blank.  Four year olds are all aspiring to be sadistic little lawyers.  They think everything in their lives is up for debate.  They force us to say things we swore we would never say like, “because I said so”.  But nothing, child.  Please, for the love of all that is sacred to your Momma, just. don’t. argue. with. me.

Anyone else notice a drastic change in their child’s fourth year of life?  Mine has started to look so much further than what is on the surface but at the same time, can’t stop laughing at words like poop and butt and poopy butt.  Her questions are more difficult to answer and her battles are harder to fight (and win).

Am I the only one that feels that a four yr old is equipped with enough energy and fury to put you on your knees some days?  Is there a question she/he asked you that left you speechless or laughing out loud?

10 Things My Four Year Old Said, That Left Me Shaking My Head.

 

She cracks herself up.

10.  “Knock Knock.”

Oh please, God NO!  Their attempts at learning humor can be painful.

 

nuff said.

9.  “Momma, how did I get out of your belly?”

I had a C-section so I let my scar explain this one.  Don’t judge my avoidance at the “real” answer please.  My four year old always has follow up questions and I’m not prepared to tell her how babies get in our tummies yet.

Really, kid?

8.  “You had a job?” 

Yes, child.  Your Mother utilized her college degree before you forced her brain to rationalize ketchup as an acceptable vegetable.  Thanks for the extra flavor of surprise in your voice when asking that.

7.  “I don’t want you to be my Mommy anymore!” 

Ha!  Your beautiful yet manipulative little eyes and words will only work on your daddy honey.

6.  “No, I’m not lying”. 

All of a sudden, my little girl lies like it’s her job.  She is worthy of being employed by the mob at this point.  She won’t back down even when the proof of red nail polish is on the window I’m pointing at AND on the fingers she used to paint it with.

5.  “Mom, come look!” 

Why.  Why do I have to see every color you use on the picture, every attempt at a front flip and come listen every freakin’ time she tries to whistle!  I still can’t really whistle.  Hang it up girl, it’s not going to happen for you.

4.  “Mom, I need you!”

I will never object to helping my daughter or doing something she needs me to do.  Having said that, her frequent idea of “need you” is just another one of her lies.  Her needs are confused with believing I am a maid, servant or another four year old.

Why?

3.  “I just want to be a princess when I grow up!”. 

I’m convinced four year old girls are addicted to pretty things. I went above and beyond to prevent this from happening but somehow my daughter still glorifies princesses.  Ugh.  For the love of God, could Disney just please put one of their female characters in freakin’ pants.

 

I’m one e-i-e-i-o from jumping.

2.  “Can we listen to my music?” 

I have come to despise nursery rhymes.  Kids are repetitive by nature.  Add a catchy sound and it’s a small world, all damn day.

 

They will break you.

1.  “But…” 

Fill in the blank.  Four year olds are all aspiring to be sadistic little lawyers.  They think everything in their lives is up for debate.  They force us to say things we swore we would never say like, “because I said so”.  But nothing child.  Please, for the love of all that is sacred to your Momma, just. don’t. argue. with. me.

Anyone else notice a drastic change in their child’s fourth year of life?  Mine has started to look so much further than what is on the surface but at the same time, can’t stop laughing at words like poop and butt and poopy butt.  Her questions are more difficult to answer and her battles are harder to fight (and win).

Am I the only one that feels that a four yr old is equipped with enough energy and fury to put you on your knees some days?  Is there a question she/he asked you that left you speechless or laughing out loud?

A Year in the Trenches of Being Momma.

The bosses.

It was early December, last year, that I lost my mind and resigned from my job, jumping blindly in to a gig that has consumed me, taught me, challenged me, permitted me and in a way saved me.  It wasn’t the wrong path I was headed down, just a path fueled by the wrong part of my body – my brain.  Stepping out of the working world and in to a world that revolves around raising my children has taught my brain to co-exist with my heart.  Life has started to raise me.

Sugar and Spice.

My daughter is a very inquisitive and compassionate four year old and is starting to notice how many layers there are to life.  She is starting to dabble in the grey.  It’s a beautiful and frightening thing to witness.  The mere minutes it takes to sit down and have a conversation with her about whatever is tugging at her brain that moment is what I have come to understand is the good stuff.  Checking stuff off my lists may ease my anxiety but it doesn’t fill my heart.  Those conversations have become my reality check lists.

A hold on my heart.

My little guy is working his way towards figuring out the basics.  His curiosity and determined personality keeps him exploring and moving most of the day now.  I’ve learned to never trust that a quiet one year old is a safe, behaving child.  At his quietest moments, my little guy has been found sitting under an entire bag of opened sugar, sharing a jar of peanut butter with the dog, tasting chap stick, snacking on dog food, testing gravity at the top of the stairs, challenging death with a sharp object in his mouth, filling the toilet bowl with toys and that was just last week.   Silence is the enemy unless they are sleeping.

I’m so blessed, however, to have a Momma’s boy that at random times just wants to sit on my lap and lie his head on my chest.  Maybe he’ll look at me and start singing a song or have a discussion in that incredibly adorable, foreign language that only toddlers speak.  Those sweet, quiet, still moments were forced on me.  I had to learn to just STOP and have them.  Those moments when I’m snuggling with my kids has taught me that God is love.  It’s the first time in my life I have ever been able to define God in any way.

Nap time has become sacred time.  Especially since I started writing.  It’s the only time in the day I get to turn everything off – my listening ears, my kissing boo boo lips, my hands that seem to always be sanitizing or holding something, my I see everything eyes including the moments of which I wish I didn’t, my poopy diaper detector a.k.a. my nose and my mouth that just tries to keep up with questions and never ending “NO’s”.  Chores will still be there but my string of sanity may not if I don’t put myself first at some point in the day.

I’ve learned to let go in the realm of hard times.  In every avenue of my life this past year, as a woman, wife and Mom, I have come out wiser on the other side of a struggle.  Financial hardship has forced me to pay more attention to what I have and make the best of it.  I have had to better understand the difference between a want and a need.  I’ve learned to trade convenience for creativity.  I’ve learned to build more on the basics.  I’ve grown to appreciate the things that take more time instead of speed up the process of living.

I have recognized that I do have the ability to play and laugh like a child.  In my adult life, that has been absent until now.  Being in the trenches of stay at home Mom-ville lends itself to self reflection.  It has put forth opportunities to forgive my flaws and grow in areas I didn’t know needed attention.  This past year, because of all that has challenged me, I am more confident in my own skin.

I wish I had an end of the year performance review coming up to be nervous about.  A stamp of approval with a visual list of things to work on is not something that comes with this job.  However, as this year comes to an end, my two new bosses seem to be pretty happy with my performance.  And NOTHING beats that!