Momma has lost her mind.

Chasing My Inner Fergie.

I need to jump out of a perfectly good air
plane.  I want to have a precocious conversation over
expensive, red wine with like minded people. I want
to bring sexy back, channel my inner Fergie and dance on
tables (no cameras please).

What I look like on any
given day.

I. Just. Want. To. Break. My. Momma. Mold.
1348890110004_8431249My daughter gasped the
other night when I came down stairs with my hair straightened,
wearing make up, a pair of jeans and a
semi plain cute top in preparation
for a NYE get together with another couple.  I was flattered,
don’t get me wrong, but the realization that 30 minutes
spent on myself made enough of an impression to make my child
gasp was…well…a tell all.

My sister kidnapped to me
today.  We went to lunch and decided to get our day drink on
with a little mid-day margarita.  All of a sudden, Prince’s
“When Doves Cry” came over the radio.  I had to physically
stop myself from pulling out my signature moves and vocally
assassinating this song.  It’s one of my favs.  It
seriously hit me, much like the realization that I’m old enough to
be in love with a song by Prince, that I need to get out
more.  I need to have a tad
more fun in my life.

Fun. Fun? What is
that anymore?  I’m not 30 (something) and jaded or
bored.  I’m just at a point in my life where I have to cram
me time in to 2 or 5 or if I’m luck 10 minute
intervals.  If hubby and I can afford
decide to get a babysitter, trying to figure out what to do with
ourselves is almost as annoying as 6am on a
Saturday.  Why is that?  I remember when a good time,
whether it was 2 people or 10 or 20, was a simple formula
of alcohol, music and time.

It doesn’t help that I have a bit of
the eye twitching, walls closing in on me,
why-do-I-live-in-Upstate-NY winter fever.

Yes. This is for real.
Yes. This is for

Nor did it help that I went to put a picture away
today and ended up looking at a photo album circa 2002 for about an
hour.  It took an hour because I have a four year old addicted
to detail.  I was 21 then and learning how to channel my inner
Fergie.  The smiles on my face were genuine, mischievous
and eager.

Please do not mistake that observation for a woman
who is unhappy in her life now as a 30 (something), wife and
Mother.  My glass is most definitely half full (of
rum).  I just mean I saw a smile that owned excitement.
Maybe putting that kind of smile on hold is because
it has been in exchange for other things.  Things like great
joys in little people and shared moments with my husband.
Perhaps complete abandonment of random fun-ness has made me
appreciate that pee a little in my pants (I’ve had two kids), laugh
out loud moments that no doubt happen when we get together with

I’m not wishing I was at an earlier point in my
life.  Lord knows if I tried to shake my humps and drop it
like it’s hot these days, something would get left behind.
Most definitely it would be my pride.  I just need a temporary
fix.  A hit of life.  A hit of anything would be really
great right about now, I’m not gonna lie.


What is a Momma
to do when she begins to feel like a shell of her old fun
self?  What “hit of lifes” have you taken that gave you that
“I still got it” feeling?  What self affirming challenges have
you taken on when the days just start running in to one

21 thoughts on “Chasing My Inner Fergie.”

  1. Well… I can’t necessarily relate to the Mom thing but I know that when I need a jolt of life– because someone’s been hating, or because I’ve been hating, or I feel ugly or whatever– I drive in my car and sing really really loudly. Not necessarily to Prince, but I wouldn’t discriminate if he found his way through my speakers. And I bust out my most killer moves. It helps. Every time.

    1. Oh yes…I would agree busting a move and singing in the car is one of my most used therapeutic tools. And if that doesn’t work, the smile it puts on other people’s faces at least makes me laugh.

  2. OH where to begin with what I have lost over the years (but gained so much more)
    1. My cute body…old places that were once firm are now sagging
    2. My inner Fergie has lost her grove…(I still think she is in there, but she is hiding from me)
    3. Getting my drink on does not have the same meaning any longer…1 or maybe on a good night 2 beers and I am done.
    4. Sitting home now trumps all other activities, because my kids are grown and my husband is usually gone (traveling for work).
    5. and on and on and on…I am pretty sure I could write of book about this subject LOL

  3. Lol! I have been through all of this. What made we feel like ‘I still got it’ was losing the baby weight. We don’t go out much anymore, but since i’ve lost weight I’m feeling back to my old self.

    1. Amen to that! I dropped the baby weight plus 10 lbs since my son was born. I owe most of the credit to breast feeding and not will power. It certainly put a little bounce in my step.

      1. Breast feeding the twins made the weight fall off me too. Some people told me I was mad to BF twins but it worked out well. Some people should just keep their opinions to themselves! ;0)

      2. Lol. It’s amazing how people try to stop you when you’re trying to do your best. It was a huge challenge but it toughened me up and made try other things I was too scared to try before.

      3. I caught A LOT of flack for breast feeding until my son was 9mths because of the struggles that I had the whole time. People will judge no matter what.

  4. Reblogged this on W.T.F. and commented:

    My posts have been on the serious side lately, so I decided to re-blog a fun, easy weekend read…that I think most Mommas (Daddies too, maybe?) can relate. Hope it’s as beautiful in your neck of the woods this weekend, as it is ours. 🙂

    1. Awww thanks Olivia for checking it out again. Going through my posts, looking for a light-hearted post to re-blog, this one jumped out at me. Still very much applies too!

  5. Great thoughts. In my forty somethings, I try to live in my twenties, but by 10pm on a Saturday night, I am beat from being a single mom and a full time employee. I get it

  6. I tell people. I am a single mother, what is your super power. I see that quote somewhere and I fell in love with it. You are a wonderful writer, totally gets me laughing all the time. That valentine’s piece…priceless

    1. Ha! thanks. It’s one of my favorites too. It’s funny how many people responded to that one.

      And thank you for the kind and encouraging words about my writing. It’s truly appreciated.

  7. Loved the sentiments here! Just turned 50 and people cannot stop reassuring me that 50 is the new 30, so we’re now the same age, Dawn! Oh wait …. you’re thirty SOMETHING. So, I better show a little respect for my elders now. 😉 Anyhow, I wracked my brains trying to think of something helpful I do when the days start blurring together. I’m thinking I read your QUALITY blog.

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